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Christelle's journey

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Weigh-in: 88.4, 0.6kg above my lowest low (ll)

As most of you know, I have been battling of late. I am a creature of routine. I love routine and I am always looking for routine. Once my routine is messed up, I tend to battle until I can get back to my routine or create a new one that works.

My normal routine: Get up, have coffee, go to work, read and comment on the forum, work, have coffee, have breakfast, work, have lunch (small because I am not very hungry but cannot go without because if I do, then I eat everything in my path by the time I get home), work, get home, make supper, (go dance on a Monday night), eat and then relax until bedtime. (Sorry if I am boring you, I'm just going with it atm) This was working very well for me until I had my birthday.

I refuse to work on my birthday, so I had leave for the day. This was in the beginning of March. Then 2 1/2 weeks later, SA had a public holiday on the 21 March which was a Wednesday and I put leave in for the Thursday and Friday too. One week later it is Easter Weekend and of course I was off work, then yesterday I had leave for Wee C's birthday, she turned 10 and it is school holidays - we enjoyed the morning together at the movies and no, apart from the bottle of water, I did not have any snacks. THD has taught me that it is not compulsory to eat while you are watching movies / tv. But all this leave has now caused a major shift in my routine and now I am not sure how to get it back. It also seems like I will be just back into my normal / new routine, then we have another 2 public holidays at the end of April / beginning May.

Being at home seems to be a bit of an issue. I can cope with weekends (normally but not lately) quite well but all this time off makes me want to eat. I am constantly looking for the next thing to eat. On Tuesday eve I had to spit out sweets that made it into my mouth twice, I missed the third time and ate the sweets. It's a lot like GW's signature: Dear stomach, you are bored, not hungry, so please shut up. She said something that really struck a chord with me yesterday: you do not question it when you eat less, why do you question it when you eat more? Good question GW. Maybe I am feeling guilty about eating more and the eat less, do more mantra still lives within me? As if I still believe that I have to eat less to loose the weight, although I have proven that statement does not work 100 times over. This morning I disproved it once again. I ate more than normal yesterday, but still managed to loose 0.6kg. Gilli is also making a lot of sense in that she postpones her breakfast until midday. Not too sure if I can do this. Some mornings going until 09:00 to have breakfast is a breeze, some mornings getting to 08:00 is a fight. It is 08:20 and I am hungry. I will stick it out until 09:00.

I am not sure how to resolve this issue but I will, because I have to, because I want to and because I owe it to myself.

B: 1 deboned, deskinned chicken breast, 2 skilpadjies, fried onion and baby marrow mix
L: nothing
D: 150ml kefir, oven roasted brisket, creamed spinach made with sauted onions and coconut cream. 2 squares 70%

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  1. Gilli's Avatar
    You are wonderfully tenacious Christelle. Despite setbacks you just keep on getting back on your feet and trying again. I am confident that you will succeed in avoiding the sugary things which keep tempting you at the moment, so long as you keep on trying.

    One of the things Robert Cywes said, in the recent podcast with Zoe, was that relapse is part of the journey and also that it takes time to make permanent changes in our life-style. One day you will see jelly beans and not be tempted to eat them any more than you would put marbles or buttons in your mouth, they will just be objects. I suspect you and I are both looking to the scales to measure our success, but in reality I am feeling better in myself than I have done for ages which is both a result of losing weight and a cause of losing weight. I am on a spiral which is running in the right direction, and I suspect that you are too if only you will allow yourself to believe it. How do you feel now in comparison with September 2016 when you joined?
  2. Christelle's Avatar
    Gilli, I am so much happier than then. Like Dr. Robert says, health and happiness first, then weight loss. But weight loss is what is making me happy. Looking back, I have come a loooong way. A 34kilo (5.35st) long way. This is nothing to sneeze at but it is not where I want to end up. I am taking it very slow (the scenic bus as you said to someone else) and I have the rest of my life to get there. And yes, I think I am in a downward spiral but I do not see it as I am only looking at the here and now. I tend to get frustrated with not being able to get on with it. I understand that this is due to my own weakness and not some outside influence
  3. MrJDW's Avatar
    Based on a couple of daily menus I've seen of your recently, you seem to have quite a nice hearty breakfast but a very light lunch. Nothing wrong with that, but it might explain why you seem to be a bit daunted by skipping breakfast and starting eating for the day at lunchtime. If I skip breakfast, as I did on Monday, I make sure the lunch is hearty, probably a bit more so than normal.

    One other thing that helped me, I'm not sure if you've seen it, but somewhere Zoe wrote about powering on through hunger because sooner or later the body will realise that you're not going to feed it, it will find an alternative energy source (your own body fat), start to use it, and the feeling of hunger will go away - and in that moment, you know you lost some weight. Now, when I'm hungry, I know that sooner or later the body will do this, and psychologically I find that helpful for dealing with it and quite gratifying.

    Those were just a couple of thoughts I had if you do want to go down to 2 meals some days, or just not worry about being hungry. I am personally an advocate of 3 meals a day on the whole and believe you can continue losing weight with 3 meals, but I had a lot of days with only 2 meals while on holiday recently and found it interesting how easy it turned out to be, in the end, even with gym visits on those days.
  4. roseymary's Avatar
    I cannot have sweet stuff in the house - if it's there I eat it. So that is one real battle you're having to fight on a daily basis when you are at home. Question - does wee C need sweets in the house?

    If I'm at home and not going out I often delay breakfast until 11 am and have a bigger meal than normal and find I can go through to dinner a bit earlier. When you are working that's not so easy.

    Perhaps you need two routines, working day and non working day. Certainly kefir on its own wouldn't last from breakfast until dinner but lob 2 eggs in and a substantial meal.

    Also accept that cheating and rapid weight loss don't go hand in hand. You enjoy your bit of chocolate and a glass of whiskey and those days are P3 and don't expect it to help your weight loss short term, but if that's what you need to keep on keeping on then accept it and make sure it's not too often.
  5. Christelle's Avatar
    MrJDW, you have given me some serious things to think about. Thank you for sharing. I will definitely ponder about that one. Can you perhaps remember the piece Zoe did?
    Rosey, I do not really keep sweets in the house for Wee C as I am so addicted and I do not want her to be but it was her birthday and these are the left over ones. I wish OH and Wee C can finish them so that I am not tempted. Think I will be moving them to another spot in the house so that it is more work to get to them. For now, this is my solution to this problem (it worked with the cookies I baked in December, so it should work with the sweets too)
  6. Piper's Avatar
    No advice from me, but wishing you all the best as you settle down and find a routine that works for you. I am cheering you on!
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