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Alison13

Sticky the stick insect - time to unstick

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In the words of Blackadder "I am in the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun".

I keep losing and gaining the same stone and a half for the last couple of years. I am good at guru hunting and have followed most plans that make me promises. i joined this forum some years ago but have decided to join it again and actually follow the plan properly. Yesterday i signed up and have decided to blog as an experiment and I will follow the community of advice and support.

Today I have eaten toast. I knew I would as I am pre-contemplating tomorrow. A little bit of hot buttered toast that always leads to more. It is very likely to be both a trigger and intolerance. My brother said I was 'hospitalised because I ate too much bread' when I was 13. This was inaccurate as I had my appendix removed, but what i learned from this comment, was that from a young age I was addicted to the white stuff and this was seen in my family. It was quite shaming in a way, but this didn't stop me and the more I tried to follow low fat diets the hungrier and more ashamed I felt. The only diet that seemed to let me release my intense craving was Scarscale but it was too restrictive to live on.

Although I dislike the word intolerance - as it makes me feel like Gwyneth Paltrow - I am curious about which of the big three I have - or maybe all of them. I gave up wine years ago as it made me bloat and my nose run. I had allergy tests but he said 'drink better wine' and picked up no allergic reaction. I gave it up anyway and had the most powerful craving for bread and sugar. I have done the candida test which is high and I am reaching a point where I feel I must change.

I am worried about my health and yet I feel daunted and at times defeated by the thought of starting another 'lifestyle change'. I have a serious amount of weight to lose - between 4 -5 stones with one foot on the scales. I wont ever be a stick insect (nor do I want to be) and yet my weight limits me. I have a wedding to go to in 10 weeks and another one at the end of August. Not only that but a friend bought me a landsurfing day. I mean doesn't she realise how fat I am! I gingerly suggested we go at the end of the summer as 'the wind will be better'. I don't want to suggest she takes someone else as I would feel a bit pants.

I want those events to inspire me and to look forward to them, but I am finding it hard to dig deep and get going as the addiction is gripping me at the moment. I have shopped on line ready for the start of it and I have cleaned out my fridge. This felt like a cleansing process in an odd way and a ritual for something new. I have made two days lunches. I wanted a low carb plan but one in which I could eat oats! I really enjoy cold porridge and I used sprouted oats. Love it and will use Oatly to moisten them. I have heard its ok.

Like lots of repeat dieters I tend to use food to change the way I feel. At the moment I feel stuck and I want to unstick and stay unstuck.

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  1. Sarah(sjc)'s Avatar
    From one bread addict to another, you have to kick it, in all forms and quantities. Just a little bit is never just a little bit. Use all the AA techniques,one day at a time, one meal at a time, even. And even when you think you have it beaten, be vigilant, because the bloody stuff creeps up on you. Itís not the answer to your problem, it is your problem. Iím trying really hard to practise what I preach, and so far, on day 6 of a Phase 1. OH had toast and marmalade for breakfast, I had bacon and egg. He will be hungry again long before I am.

    As far as oats are concerned, fine as a carb, but if youíre sprouting them, I think itís sane as with other sprouts, pretty low carb.

    Once you get into Phase 1 and the weight comes off, it will encourage you to stay away from the dreaded white stuff!

    Do use this Forum for questions and support!
  2. Alison13's Avatar
    Thanks for your encouragement Sarah. Must be brilliant to be on day 6! Bread is a sly one alright and I am totally with you on the AA thing. A day at a time and 'a little bit is never a little bit'. i want to hold onto the idea - one (slice) is too many and a thousand not enough.
  3. Sarah(sjc)'s Avatar
    It’s been easier than I thought, my incentive is being at my heaviest ever just now! Concentrate on enjoying what you can have, and don’t worry about what you can’t...
  4. Piper's Avatar
    Welcome! I used to be exactly the same with bread, but after the ghastly detox was over i felt so much better that i never went back. It is simply something i don't look at any more, but it was tough at first. Now im aiming to do same with sugar. We're all rooting for you. It and you are so worth it!
  5. Lindam's Avatar
    Hi Alison, I love your blog. The humour just hits the spot for me. My father was a baker, I grew up with the stuff. We made, we sold it - it was literally our bread and butter.

    Lovely man, he not only knew no better, but thought he was selling something healthy

    I now think of him as an unwitting drug dealer ...

    Others are exactly right - this is an addiction - it needs all the experience of AA to combat it.

    I also have around 50lb to lose - yes, I should know better - we can do this together, one pound at a time. Xx
  6. Alison13's Avatar
    Thanks Sarah, Piper and Lindam. It's good to be here and I am looking forward to starting a bit more now.

    I am hearing that you are listening to your body Piper and haven't gone back to the bread. I need to hold on to how I feel beyond the detox.

    Lindam - I am having strong mental images of your fathers bakery and am reminded of our local bakers shop and sniffing the waft as I walked past ( who am I kidding - I never walked past). The greengrocers never had the same allure somehow and I suspect thats why greengrocers had to shout '2 pound a pound' at passers by!

    As you say - we can do this, a pound at a time. x
  7. Gilli's Avatar
    Welcome Alison. Wishing you all the best for your venture into THD Phase 1. Many of us regard this not so much as a "diet" but as a way of life so be prepared to change your perspective radically. I do not miss bread at all, it is after all only a transport mechanism for more interesting foods and eventually you could see it that way too.
  8. roseymary's Avatar
    Welcome to the forum.
    As a recovering alcoholic I know it's not easy to give up an addiction but you can if you really WANT to do it. I've been sober now for over 9 years and I really wanted to be sober as I hated my drunken self.
    I wish you all the best and have faith that you will be successful in achieving your bread free life.
    One AA saying that for me is very powerful is "One is too many a thousand not enough". Applies to booze, bread, or any other "drug" of choice.
    The other thing is if you are a bread (or any other food substance addict) then the only safe amount is zero. Avoid avoid avoid.
    If you want to put yourself off bread I'd recommend William Davies "Wheat Belly", the effects of modern wheat are quite scary.
    Another book I've found beneficial is "Food Junkies" by Vera Tarman and Phil Wardell.
  9. Alison13's Avatar
    Thanks Gilli and Roseymary. I will look up those books and I hope I will eventually not miss bread too
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