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Pond Life

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So...earlier this week, I seem to have evacuated a small garden pond complete with pond life from my body. I felt exhausted and my mind began racing about all the terrible things that might be going on in my body. I have managed to stay completely on plan but alternate between complete obsession with my bowels to rumination about various bodily pains. I read about 'candida die-off' and my symptoms seems to fit. I seem to have 'firmed up' as the week has progressed and things are back to some sort of ordinary function.

The man I have a fancy for said that I was a hypochondriac and need to have a 'gin' which seems to be his answer for everything. When I made what I thought was a flirty comment in response, he said I was 'strange' and so I guess I can safely say I am 'the loyal friend' and not the person he want's to snog. I also told him about my bowels so I can safely say that my feminine mystique has evaporated. I don't seem to be able to quite let him go though.

I haven't weighed myself and this is the first diet in which I have been quite firm with myself about that. Because of the withdrawals I think the scales would have too much influence on my mood. In the past, weighing myself after a hard week and seeing a pound weight loss is dispiriting. I don't tend to work harder as some might, I reinforce why it would be a good idea to eat hot buttered toast or a bag of jelly beans and 'start tomorrow'. Of course I don't tend to start tomorrow, I tend to have a few weeks of reversing the weight loss entirely and then I worry about weighing for different reasons and the cycle continues. I know it works a treat for some but for me they remain untouched. I think when I drop a trousers size I will start to feel different. I long to wear dresses and skirts again but seem to have a functional wardrobe with a few lovely accessories and some funky shoes, which is a move forward.

Others are noticing something different and that I am losing weight. I am not sure if I force that out of them though! However my body is changing in subtle ways. I am losing the 'bloat' on my face and my stomach has moments where is it less rigid with bloat. I also had a patch of eczema on my head that flared up when I was stressed. It seems to be disappearing and yesterday was talking to someone and as I touched the spot on my head, I said ' eczema is clearing up'. It was a surprise.

I am doing something different. I just need to do more of it.

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  1. Gilli's Avatar
    Keep it up Alison. You have done the hard bit by getting started so keep that momentum running and you will be feeling awesome in no time.

    I think you were brave to tell the man you might fancy about your bowel movements, but maybe I have been away from the dating scene for so long I do not know the current rules But, a man who thinks gin is the panacaea may make a better friend than lover in the long run.
  2. roseymary's Avatar
    Agree with Gilli's comment on boy friend material, even as a friend he might be a bit negative and you want bright positive people around you. And that's who full you'll find in the forum.

    You've got past the hard bit now is time to enjoy real managed carb foods.
  3. Lindam's Avatar
    Hi Alison, I do love your blog - it makes me laugh. I am glad you are seeing changes for the better. I think your plan of not weighing is an excellent idea. The scales used to be called the 'weight liars' on this forum. You're much better off gauging your loss by tape measure and how your clothes feel. I've kept the dress that was my standby - the smart thing I had to have for meetings, which I think did the best job of covering the lumps and bumps. When the scales aren't registering any loss - I put the dress on, and wallow in how far too big it is for me now. It's the best thing I've found to keep me on track. Xx
  4. Bronn's Avatar
    Believe in the process and the results will follow. I’ve not lost lots but people have noticed, perhaps it’s that we look less bloated, or a bit healthier, or just feel more positive which gives the impression we look better - who knows but if people are noticing, keep going with it
  5. Christelle's Avatar
    I do not think you are eliciting anything from people noticing weight loss. They would not have said anything if they didn't really see it for themselves. And on the "start tomorrow", maybe change that to "I'll have the buttered toast tomorrow" knowing that tomorrow never comes. I think this way around is more positive.
    You are doing great and if you think weighing will tip you in the sod-it mode, then do not weigh. The scales are for sure not the only way to measure results. How you feel in yourself, how your clothes fit or even just the fact that you can go up the stairs this week and you couldn't last week, is great way of measuring success.
  6. Alison13's Avatar
    I am not sure I know the rules with dating either Gilli! Thanks for your lovely comments.

    Roseymary - thank you and I really appreciate your comments. It felt good being reminded that I am allowed to have positive people around me.

    Thanks Lindam. I think we have our humour in common. I like the reverse idea that you and Christelle suggest. Keeping bigger clothes to see how far I have come ( I used to keep a thin skirt with 1lb stickers on it which I removed every time I lost a pound. It worked the last time that I really dieted 10 years ago). I will keep my voluminous trousers though and just cant wait for them to be loose - good one. Also the 'hot buttered toast of tomorrow' that never has to arrive. Tiny steps.

    Bronn - I like that expression about believing in the process. Just keep going.
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