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Thread: 'Friends' unhelpful comments

  1. #11
    Registered Guest PixieW's Avatar
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    Some people are so boring. I don't mean you peeps I mean the "inteferring" ones. I think its just rude. Its no different from saying cut your hair, or grow your hair of don't wear that colour etc. Rooooooood!

  2. #12
    Forum Guest Kerrygirl73's Avatar
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    That diet doesn't sound very good for you!
    Oh if there's no bread potato or pasta it's Atkins!
    What you got salad again!

    Today I was given a box of biscuits which I took into work for my mates.they loved them while shook my head and grinned :-)

  3. #13
    Registered Guest candy46's Avatar
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    They will get bored the longer you stick to it!!!!

    Mine dont say anything now apaprt from when they get so fed up with their weight they ask for advice but then decide it is just too much to give up.


    After over a year of me being on THD they know it is more than a passing fad!

  4. #14
    farrview
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    I have lost a lot of weight over the last 4 to 5 years. I weighed 115kgs and now 84. I have more to lose but look OK in clothes(lol)
    No way am I slim. Well built would be kind! I am reasonably fit though and very healthy.

    I have been fascinated by the comments and sabotage attempts over the years.

    One work colleague went out of her way to bring in food she knew I liked and couldn't eat and make a point of offering it to me in public and laughing. My closest friend ( a relative) has barely spoken to me, bad mouthed me to her friends who treat me like I have horns when I see them (fortunately they live 200klms away) She has since tried to be friendly but cannot acknowledge she didn't talk to me for 18 months after she first saw me after I lost the weight.At the time it hurt badly as I thought she would be thrilled for me. ( She has fought the same battle (lost) but ..oh well)

    I can remember being in town and met a staff member eating an ice cream. She said "oops I have been caught!" I said I wasn't the food police and she could eat what she liked. That was a tactic that happened often. Whenever I was around there would be a comment like "I guess you won't eat this you are too pure" I made it really clear over time I didn't give a rip what anyone else ate! Indifference was my best asset dealing with it. It's not about them, they have their own journey.
    "Not my cat to pat!" and I am most definitely not theirs!

    I have decided most of the stuff is not about me at all it is about them. If I am fat I make them feel:
    Comfortably superior
    Thinner
    One of them so we can all be fat together
    Not so fat as all that which helps justify the next bite. ( I know that one well)

    Some people hate change I have had it said I am less cuddly! Interestingly none of my kindy children complain that I have got shoulder blades. People like to label others and when you have been labelled the fat and happy one ( I hate that) they object to you being slimmer.

    It annoys the heck out of me that male staff members treat me differently. They even vaguely flirt which is disconcerting to say the least. My voice is heard much more now I am not seen through layers of fat (makes us a little less intelligent than the others! argghh) Being obese is as life changing as many disabilities. It is a disease not a lack of willpower as we all know.
    When I first lost weight the comments were different and the sabotage has modified over the years. It has finally stopped as I have looked roughly the same for the last 2 years although I know I have been fighting to keep it off and put 8 on again.
    They have started to forget, although every now and again someone will bring it up usually to someone who is new. Its like they want the new person to see me as obese ( I was enormous) and not as I am now.

    My current great delight is the last time I went to visit my 95 year old mother. She has had a few health issues ( not surprising) and was getting bigger. Noone was giving her weight advice as they tend to think "well she is 95 she is entitled".
    I was pushing her wheelchair and said "Mum this is easier, what have you been doing" She said" I thought if you could do it I could too, so I have cut back" (She loves savoury nibbles like Pringles) "I just eat my 3 meals and have my sherry in the afternoon before tea" ( lol) Basically she has gone to whole food.

    Teachers out there know about staff morning teas with whole tables groaning with carbs and fat, wheat and sugar.
    They want to keep eating it, most are addicted. The last thing they want is for someone to sit there not eating. I used to eat NLY when they were on but now, I just do something else.

    It is important to be aware that those you think should support you may find it completely threatening on several levels if you change. THD changes not just the way you eat but without addictions you will change in other ways. Without the shame and hiding various food binges you will be more confident. (that will upset some people who used to dominate you)
    You will know more (just read this forum for a few weeks) You will start liking yourself and being proud of yourself.You will not be the same person, how can you be!

    Its hard to realise but not everyone will think it is a good thing.

  5. #15
    Forum Guest woolly's Avatar
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    Do you know, no one has said anything negative to me. The only difference is that people are not now not saying "wow you've lost weight!" as they did before, but are saying "you've got really skinny!". Now by any standards I am not really skinny. I'm just thinking that they're comparing me to how I was and just using superlatives. Over egging it a bit. I just think that if anyone says something negative, just say "I'm happy". And nothing more. What can they say to that?? 'Err. Don't be happy."(?) I don't think so.

    x

  6. #16
    Registered Guest PixieW's Avatar
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    Farrview - Fantastic about your mum. As for the rest of your post I enjoyed reading it but I so wished you hadn't had to write it. People are just plain rude. Well done you keep at it.

    Woolly - you made me laugh with 'Err don't be happy'.

  7. #17
    Forum Guest Kerrygirl73's Avatar
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    Really great advice Farrview x

  8. #18
    farrview
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    [QUOTE=woolly;153237] I just think that if anyone says something negative, just say "I'm happy".

    x[/QUOTE]
    ++! Excellent advice

  9. #19
    Dave
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    Are they really your friends?

  10. #20
    Registered Guest PixieW's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Dave;153256]Are they really your friends?[/QUOTE]

    Well that is food for thought.

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