Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 43

Thread: 'Friends' unhelpful comments

  1. #21

    Default

    What an interesting thread! It depends on how much or little we value those comments, doesn't it? I'd love to be able to ignore those 'well-meaning' things people say like ... you've lost too much weight now ... but, unfortunately, I'm an insecure sort who thinks ... they're right, I'm getting scrawny in my face now! We shouldn't see ourselves through the eyes of others but that's easier said than done, isn't it?!

  2. #22
    farrview
    Visitor

    Default

    [QUOTE=Dave;153256]Are they really your friends?[/QUOTE]
    Clearly they are not friends ( mostly work colleagues and you are stuck with them)
    Relatives - well you just have them and they really don't have insight into what they are saying and doing.
    Like I said it isn't about me it is about them and their issues. It hurts at the time though.
    Social pressure to eat is ENORMOUS, I couldn't believe how many opportunities there are to eat stuff there are.
    I have made new friends because of my changed outlook and lost a couple but a lot evens out over time.
    I get stronger as I meet and develop healthy relationships with people who never knew me before. Quite different.

  3. #23
    Forum Guest woolly's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Sowf London, Init
    Posts
    2,201

    Default

    [QUOTE=farrview;153246]++! Excellent advice[/QUOTE] Fanks, love.

  4. #24
    Forum Guest Josie_uk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Chertsey, Surrey
    Posts
    1,996

    Default

    The 2 people that shocked me the most were my stepmother who hasn't spoken to me since I lost the first 2 stone (I'm almost down another 3 now) and one of my closest friends who just looked me up and down and said 'I can't see any difference!' I can only put their behaviour down to jealousy as where my waistline has shrunk, they have expanded! I used to care what they thought and wanted their support so much. Now I get all the support I need from my Harcombe family!

  5. #25
    Club Plus Member Sarah(sjc)'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Wiltshire
    Posts
    20,068

    Default

    Great post from Farrview, and I agree - just say 'I'm happy' - mind you, there are people who would object to that! My OH has a problem because I love my job and he hates his, for example. Some people can only see your success in terms of their failure (if they have the same issues), or seem to see you as some kind of threat (if they are where you are aiming to be), and react accordingly.

  6. #26

    Default

    [QUOTE=Josie_uk;153332]The 2 people that shocked me the most were my stepmother who hasn't spoken to me since I lost the first 2 stone (I'm almost down another 3 now) and one of my closest friends who just looked me up and down and said 'I can't see any difference!' I can only put their behaviour down to jealousy as where my waistline has shrunk, they have expanded! I used to care what they thought and wanted their support so much. Now I get all the support I need from my Harcombe family! [/QUOTE]

    How cruel and unkind. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

  7. #27
    Registered Guest PixieW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Hertfordshire
    Posts
    969

    Default

    I have mentioned before that I had a friend who constantly sabotaged me and was jealous of me (this was before I had really lost any weight). She is not in my life anymore. I miss the good things about her but not the bad.

  8. #28
    Forum Guest karencatcat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Central Portugal
    Posts
    2,034

    Default

    This is a really interesting thread...maybe I should be glad that no-one seems to have noticed my weight loss if all you are all getting is negative comments!

    As a fat woman I have never been able to be properly happy in company (anyones..) and am now starting to feel I am on the road to recovery albeit still a fat woman. I want to be confident and happy and that is the direction I am firmly heading in. I may still have body 'issues' as who doesn't with the media images we are constantly bombarded with but hopefully will learn to reconcile and live with them as my weight gradually recedes. If anyone does eventually notice and makes any negative comments they will be ignored as I want to be the me I was always meant to be. I want to dance at parties, wear nice clothes and do active things without feeling flabby and out of breath and if I start to look gaunt or 'skinny' as a consequence well its a small price to pay for feeling healthy, fit and happy.

    Having a big party for my daughters 16th at the end of June and expect to be significantly smaller by then. Really, really looking forward to seeing my family and various people who I haven't had the pleasure of visiting with in a while and being able to party with them without resorting to a very large quantity of alcohol just to give me the confidence to get through an evening.

    For me THD is all good (I havent yet found a negative tbh) and I wont be swayed by naysayers or jealousy and will rapidly ditch any friends/family who tries to stand in my way.

  9. #29
    Forum Guest Cybes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Worcestershire, Uk
    Posts
    599

    Default

    I've accepted now that 'friends' come and go.

    I think the quote was "Friends: Here for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime"

  10. #30
    Registered Guest candy46's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Buckinghamshire
    Posts
    1,243

    Default


    Some amazing posts here. Its quite shocking how cruel people can be, makes me hope i have never done that to anyone!

    "Not my cat to pat" I love this quote its like something out of a Stephen King Novel!!!!

    Karencatcat - Brilliant attitude, good on you girl!

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO